These days people get addicted to social media and the 'social media' standards make people doubting themselves, expensive things and beautiful faces, make us starts hating ourselves and try to become those people on the social media. But we shouldn't do that, it's better to use those as motivation for us to become the version of ourselve rather than become another person. Here is how to stop being insecure and love yourself more.
1. Distinguish between what is real and what is imaginary. There are always two realities running parallel to each other at any given time: the one outside your mind and the one within. Sometimes taking a step back is all you need to see that whatever you're concocting in your mind has very little to do with reality. Instead, it's just your fears and anxieties taking hold of you. When you're feeling anxious, remember: is this reality or is this just my made-up reality?
2. Know that your insecurity is invisible. Let's say you walk into a party where you know practically no one and you're totally nervous. You're feeling super insecure, you start wondering why you even came, and you're confident everyone is looking at you and can see how insecure you are. False. Sure, they can see you're nervous, but that's it. No one can see your insides. Don't let something totally invisible box you in, keeping you from who you want to be.
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3. Believe that nothing is what it seems. Did you hear about that woman who faked a trip all around the world to even her closest friends and family? Via Facebook, she posted all these photos of how awesome her vacation was, when really she was sitting at home faking it all. In other words, people only let you see what they want you to see – behind those drawn curtains is something much less enviable. Nothing is what it seems, no one is as they seem, and there's no reason to measure your lot up to anyone else's.
4. Listen and accept your feelings. One method of fighting insecurity is just to not acknowledge it. Apart from the fact that this just squashes it until you blow up, it also sends the message to yourself that the way you feel isn't valid or isn't okay. When you're not okay with how you feel, you can't accept yourself. And when you can't accept yourself, you'll be insecure. So take those little feelings and feel 'em. Once you do, they might go away.
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1. If you do compare yourself to someone, compare yourself to you. Again – when you're looking at other people, you're looking at their highlight reel. So don't do it. When you catch yourself doing it, stop. Just stop. Remind yourself that it's the highlight reel you're watching, and that reel is pretty darn short.
2. List out all your good qualities. Seriously. Take out a piece of paper and a pen (or your phone) and write them down. What do you like about yourself? Don't stop until you have at least five. Is it a talent? A physical attribute? A personality trait?
3. Take care of your body, your space, and your time. In order to love ourselves, our minds have to see some proof that we do. If someone treated you terribly you wouldn't believe they loved you, and the same goes for you. Here's what to keep in mind:
4. Define your boundaries. Hopefully you treat you right and you know how you should treat you, but what about others? Define your boundaries – in other words, what will you and will you not put up with? What violates your definition of "okay?" Why is this important? Because you have rights and you deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated. You just have to know how you want to be treated to begin.
5. When in doubt, fake it. "Fake it till you make it" isn't just some conveniently rhyming, trite piece of advice. In fact, science says it works. Even faking confidence convinces others you're more confident, competent, and can lead to more opportunities and better results. So if you need that extra dose of confidence, lean on your acting skills. Everyone will be none the wiser.
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1. Start a self-esteem file. With either or phone or a small notebook always in tow, write down every compliment you get. Every single one. When you need a pick-me-up (or just when you have a few free minutes), go through them. By the end, you'll feel amazing.
2. Surround yourself with those who make you feel good. Unfortunately, a lot of how we feel about ourselves and about anything, really, is determined by those around us. If we're around negative people, we're going to be negative. If we're around happy people, we're likely to be happier. So surround yourself with people who make you happy and feel good about yourself. Why would you do anything else.
3. Find work you love. Work takes up so much of our lives. If you're stuck in a job you hate and being miserable, the unconscious message you're sending yourself is that you're not capable of better and you don't deserve it. If this describes your situation, make an effort to get out. This is your happiness we're talking about here.
4. Face your obstacles and wounds. Remember a while back when we said to "feel your feelings?" Once you feel them, you can face them and figure out where they're coming from. What is it about you or your situation that is keeping you from being truly happy and loving yourself? Is it your weight? Your looks? Something about your personality? Your status in life? How someone treated you in the past?
5. Change what you cannot accept. They always say accept what you cannot change, but the latter half of that statement is to change what you can't accept. Can't accept what you look like? Do something about it. Can't accept your career path? Switch. Can't accept how you're treated? End the relationship. You have a surprising amount of power – you just have to use it.
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