There may be an ounce of weed sitting in a jar someplace in my apartment, but when it all boils down I can’t lie: my favorite drug is meth. Not DOING meth, obviously – that’s for white trash and poor people. Mostly I just enjoy the memes…
…but Sarah Lindsay Lewis, who was once convicted of having sex with a student, apparently likes meth a little too much, as the former teacher was busted while allegedly trying to sell meth out of her car.
This is what Sarah Lindsay Lewis looked like before the meth:
And now, well…
…girl looks like she’s been laying out in the sun letting ants slowly eat her face for at least a year. We weren't exactly working with prime rib to begin with, but it's not like we had soggy hot dog meat like we do now.
According to Fox 13, Lewis was arrested on July 2nd after officers discovered her allegedly selling meth out of the trunk of her car. Which reminds me of a #HotTip: If you’re going to sell meth, do it someplace no one would ever expect – set up a lemonade stand and abduct a child to make it look legit, whatever. No one walks into a Panda Express expecting to be sold crack in the bathroom, but the parking lot at the abandoned Blockbuster downtown? Oh yeah, shit goes down after hours; do yourself a favor, take a shower, throw on some makeup to cover-up those picking scars and you’ll be golden.
Upon her arrest, police discovered 12 ounces of methamphetamine and methamphetamine paraphernalia, which is really just a fancy way of saying “there’s a fuckload of crack pipes in this car.” Which, by the way, have you ever seen these at a gas station?
Fun fact: They’re actually used for smoking crack. Who the fuck is buying a fake rose in a glass bulb at a backwater gas station in the middle of Mississippi? Oh because my trip down south was just SO GREAT that I wanted to immortalize it on my mantle with this gas station crack pipe – I mean, delicate flower.
And because life loves kicking you when you’re down, Sarah Lindsay Lewis’ arrest counted as a violation of her probation from when she was convicted of unlawful sex with a minor. Two teens came forward about Lewis back in 2017, with one of them saying that she got him drunk to have sex with him: The teen said he and Lewis communicated over Snapchat, and that during the Christmas break in 2016 Lewis picked the teen up, bought alcohol for them both and went to Lewis’ Payson home. The teen told police he and Lewis drank whiskey, and after he was intoxicated the pair engaged in sexual intercourse. Lewis now faces charges related to her meth arrest, and since the arrest violated her probation she was required to spend three days in jail. No word yet on when she'll appear next in court, but with her current track record it'll probably be sooner rather than later.