At this point I don’t care what you’re doing for exercise, just get up and move. I went to Fogo de Chao for the first time on Friday and it was, frankly, disgusting – literally people camping out in their dining chairs eating meat for hours. Buttons popping, lips smacking, strained groans as people try to roll themselves out the door…I mean, I’m all for eating good food, but if it’s a fucking buffet it’s not actually going to be GOOD; there’s just going to be a lot of it. I even saw some woman eating a steak with her fucking hands, because that’s the point we’ve reached in 2018: you are either fit and skinny, or you are a motherfucking wildebeest. And while North Carolina teacher Kandice Mason falls into the former, her school district apparently disproves of her fitness routine.
You see, rather than going for a jog like some sort of masochist, Kandice works as a part-time pole dancing instructor. Yes, it’s the dancing style of choice for strippers, but it’s REALLY fucking hard too – you actually have to be pretty fit to do it with any sort of grace at all.
What would you rather have: a country of people staying fit by pole dancing, or Buffet Bertha housing a third rib-eye before lunch?
Kandice told ABC 11 that she posted the video of her pole dancing to a private Facebook page, which was then leaked to the Hoke County Public Schools. “I’ve worked so hard to try and make sure I can provide for my daughters, and our livelihood -- to have it jeopardized just for doing something that I’m passionate about…” she explained. “I’ve never felt ashamed of pole dancing. It’s just an art for me. I just don’t see it as negative.”
The school district, however, chose to suspend her for violating a policy where teachers are expected to act like “role models” both inside and outside of the classroom, on and off the clock.
And to be fair, I would get that…if she were in an actual strip club, getting hailed on with quarters as some overweight blumpkin tries to cop a feel when she’s not looking. But she’s in her house, spinning around a pole and wearing what basically equates to beachwear – school district is either a bunch of goddamn prudes, or they jumped the gun and didn’t think this story would hit the national news cycle.
As for Kandice, however, she’s been “suspended with pay pending an investigation,” which is the best possible outcome here – hell, even better than not getting suspended at all.