It’s easy to get immortalized via the Internet these days. Google never forgets, so whenever you see a story “HILARIOUS Guy Sends HILARIOUS Text To SOUL-CRUSHINGLY FUNNY WRONG NUMBER!!!!!”it might seem cool for a second that they went viral, but think about it – that story is going to be around forever. When an employer searches Bob Bobberson’s name, the top result is going to be the Buzzfeed article from the time he “accidentally” filmed himself going into work without pants on. Great for immediate, fleeting fame, but not so hot for functioning in the adult world.
Unfortunately, one guy named Cory Hrobowski had to discover that the hard way. You see, Cory got a text from a random number on Friday:
Cory, being an idiot, assumed that the text was from a “random girl” because he almost never saves numbers on his phone. He says that he got “a bit irritated” that the text was essentially bossing him around, so instead of checking to see who it was he decided to go and be flip about it:
“I have had bad experiences with unknown number so I get fed up pretty quick,” he explained.
This is dumb for a number of reasons. First of all, what dude turns down free sex at noon on a Friday? And second, no one looking for some afternoon delight spells cum as “come” – you gotta hop on any opportunity to spell out C-U-M instead of c-o-m-e, and any girl worth her salt gets right to the point and leaves any potential ambiguities in the wind. Plus, what the fuck is a “bad experience” with an unknown number? Unless that number shows up at your house and sets your shrubs on fire, all you have to do is ignore it or block it. Cory here likes to live his life on hard mode, where every dumb idea becomes a decision and every good idea gets thrown into the shrub fire.
Unluckily for Cory, it turns out the random number wasn’t a girl – it was his boss, who is also female.
See, it’s a funny response when your boss is a dude – but a woman? Report to HR immediately, do not pass Go, and do not collect $200.
“When I found out it was my boss, I was actually super nervous,” Cory recalled. But instead of shooting another text to explain what had happened and apologize, Cory stuck his thumb up his ass for almost a full NINE HOURS.
So instead of using his brain to figure out what to do next, he decided to go to ask Twitter. Fair choice, considering his brain hasn’t done him any favors so far, though according to the bell curve about 16% of the population are borderline doorknobs – so while he’s got an 84% chance of getting good advice, since Cory is clearly part of that 16% I wouldn’t get your hopes up that he follows it.
Most people followed with jokes…
“bitch i said i didn’t schedule any dick appointments”
— Shady (@shadyLaFlare) July 17, 2018
You just gotta text her from a whole different number. Pretend she has the wrong # and that you got a new phone too.
— Ya Gurl Mady ✨??????? (@mady134) July 17, 2018
Nothin' you can say. You gotta start a new life.
— Cabini (@CariniGambarini) July 17, 2018
“My bad. I’ll be there at 12”.
— sephard, so good ?? (@BaalKusTov) July 17, 2018 But in the end, none of their suggestions mattered…
I never responded and she texted me last night and said “I’ll be giving you a call tomorrow to discuss the terms of your employment with us”
— Cory Hrobowski (@SznVibes) July 17, 2018 …because even though he didn’t respond to his boss, his tweet wound up attracting over 85,000 times on Twitter.
Hrobowski says his boss as well as his entire office found out about his tweet, leading the company to reach out to him about it. “[They] asked to not be mentioned due to the negative energy surrounding their name,” he said. And so on Wednesday, Hrobowski wound up having to resign…all because he decided to ask the Internet for help.
As for the rest of the office, one anonymous employee stated that it’s “kind of been an awkward situation.” His former boss refused to comment.