You hate to see it: a phone taking a swim with the brown fish. Or a phone taking a swim with any type of fish, really. But there’s a difference between dropping your phone in the pool, which nobody shits in (supposedly), and this girl who drops her phone into a completely-full port-o-potty.
A post shared by Old Row (@oldrowofficial) on Jul 25, 2018 at 6:10am PDT
To be honest, my parents never gifted me the fanciest and shiniest iPhone every time a new one came out, so I don’t know what it’s like to feel the need to dig through shit to find it. Every time I lose my phone I consider it a blessing – I’m using an iPhone 5 over here. I’ve seen homeless people in DC using the 6, and my technologically illiterate grandpa has a 7. Whether that says I’m cheap is a matter of opinion, but my phone works fine and I can’t get rid of it until I either lose it, or it stops working – and I keep fucking finding it every time.
First world problems, right? This girl drops her phone into a port-o-potty and is digging through yesterday’s meatloaf, whereas I’m sitting here high and dry whining about how she has a better phone than I do. It’s a trade-off, really – she gets to have a flashy new toy, but she’s obligated to stick her face into shit to get it back if necessary; I have a shit phone, but don’t have to give a shit when it winds up in the shitter.
So who’s the real winner here? Me, clearly – that girl didn’t even wipe off all the crappy one-ply toilet paper stuck to her hands before she sprinted out of the stall, and if I can’t beat a girl with poop hands then what am I doing with my life?