You know, if it weren’t for the fact that Adam Sandler seems like pretty chill dude, I’d be pretty pissed about this sudden revelation about his tongue skills. The guy hasn’t made a good movie in years – and if you disagree, please – name a good one that’s come out in the past five years. A GOOD one!
It’s truly a testament to how much everybody likes Adam Sandler that his career is still booming and not circling the drain right about now. Name any other actor who could survive Pixels and The Cobbler coming out back-to-back – shit, Sam Worthington (“Who?” is both the appropriate response and my point exactly) did Terminator Salvation which, while flawed, is miles better than Sandy Wexler, and yet that dude might as well be dead for all he’s done in Hollywood lately.
But you can’t fault Sandler – he literally gets paid to make shitty movies with his friends in tropical locations. And now that he’s apparently a GREAT kisser, I find myself wanting to grab a beer with him as well as suck face drunkenly in a closet somewhere.
Just kidding – I don’t like beer.
During an interview on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Brooklyn Decker gave us the low-down on how apparently Adam Sandler is Hollywood’s top smoocher: “Adam Sandler is a good kisser. And other actresses have said the same thing. They have come up to me, other actresses who have kissed him, and said, ‘Hey, so…good, right?'”
“…I have to say with Adam, I was taken aback by how good of a kisser he was. He’s a great kisser. He’s also a gentleman which I think makes the whole experience just nice,” Decker explained.
For those of you who don’t remember, Brooklyn Decker was in that Adam Sandler movie Just Go With It, where he pretends to be married so he can…bang her? To be honest I haven’t seen it because it has an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes…
…I only watch Adam Sandler movies that come in at sub-15%; Just Go With It is too quality for my tastes, which is why I can proudly say I’ve sat through The Do-Over (5%), The Cobbler (9%), and Grown Ups 2 (7%). For reference, Punch Drunk Love ranks in at 80% and I hated it, so clearly my tastes are too refined for today’s conventional critic.
Now the only thing we need to hear is that Leonardo DiCaprio & Pals have meaty chodes and chronic garlic breath to feel like there's some sort of justice in the world -- if Adam Sandler can top them, that means any 5/10 guy with millions in the bank can too! What an inspiration.